NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

School is so discouraging nothing but one hassle after another.

Why would my boss want to meet with me this afternoon if not to fire me?

[After getting a poor grade on a paper] Just as I thought I’m incompetent at everything.

I won the speech contest, but none of the other speakers was very good. I wouldn’t have done as well against stiffer competition.

I wouldn’t have eaten so much last night if my friends hadn’t insisted on going to that restaurant.

I should have scored 100% on this test. I can’t believe I missed that one problem through a careless mistake.

POSITIVE SELF-TALK

School is pretty challenging and has its difficulties, but there certainly are rewards. It’s really a mixture of good and bad.

I wonder why my boss wants to meet with me. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

I’ll start working on the next paper earlier. That way, if I run into problems I’ll have time to talk to the TA.

It may not have been the best speech I’ll ever give, but it was good enough to win the contest.

I overdid it last night. Next time I’ll make different choices.

Too bad I missed one problem through carelessness, but overall I did very well on this test. Next time I’ll be more careful.

Reduce stress and improve your life with positive self talk: Develop the positive self talk habit! About.com: Stress Management. (http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/positiveselftak.htm.)

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Cognitive Techniques

Certain thought patterns and ways of thinking, including ideas, beliefs, and perceptions, can contribute to stress and have a negative impact on health. But other habits of mind, if practiced with patience and consistency, can help break unhealthy thought patterns. Below are some suggestions for changing destructive thinking:

• Monitor your self-talk and try to minimize hostile, critical, suspicious, and self-deprecating thoughts (see the box “Self-Talk”).

• Modify your expectations. They often restrict experience and lead to disappointment. Try to accept life as it comes.

• Live in the present. Clear your mind of old debris and fears so you can enjoy life as it is now.

• Go with the flow. Accept what you can’t change, forgive others for their faults, and be flexible.

Cultivating your sense of humor is another key cognitive stress-management technique. Even a fleeting smile produces changes in your autonomic nervous system that can lift your spirits. Hearty laughter triggers the release of endorphins, and after a good laugh, your muscles go slack and your pulse and blood pressure dip below normal; you are relaxed.

Relaxation Techniques

The relaxation response is a physiological state characterized by a feeling of warmth and quiet mental alertness. This state is the opposite of the fight-or-flight response. When you induce the relaxation response by using a relaxation technique, your heart rate, breathing, and metabolism slow down. Blood pressure and oxygen consumption decrease. At the same time, blood flow to the brain and skin increases, and brain waves shift from an alert beta rhythm to a relaxed alpha rhythm.

The techniques described in this section are among the most popular techniques and the easiest to learn; also, see the box “Relaxing through Meditation.” All these techniques take practice, so it may be several weeks before the benefits become noticeable in everyday life. relaxation response A physiological state TERMS characterized by a feeling of warmth and quiet mental alertness.

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