How To Cook Like Yogi?

We’ve all been in the kitchen, with a fool-proof recipe in hand and faith
in our hearts, but sometimes things just don’t work out as planned…


My mother-in-law and I put together a family cookbook of her tried and trusted recipes. Unfortunately, there were some serious typos, which weren’t a problem for my mom-in-law, but I was still learning to cook. One night, I invited a few friends over for dinner and tried out the potato au gratin recipe to impress them. Instead of adding 1/6 of a teaspoon of black pepper I used 16 teaspoons. I just thought it was supposed to be super spicy but my friends described it as ‘inedible’.

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I had no idea you shouldn’t boil water in a glass dish in the microwave. I took it out, placed it on the cold counter, and as I added the jelly powder, there was a loud boom. Shards of glass and boiling water flew everywhere. I dived to the ground to avoid getting scalded or ending up with pieces of glass in my skin. The kitchen was a red, sticky mess. I don’t think my culinary skills have improved much since then.


To save time making boiled eggs, I put three eggs in water and popped them in the microwave, then joined my eight-year-old son in the lounge. After a few minutes, we heard three big bangs – I really thought they were gunshots. I grabbed a cricket bat and told him to follow me out of the house, but as we passed the kitchen we discovered that the eggs had exploded. We spent the rest of the evening scraping bits of egg from the ceiling, floor and cupboards. I ordered pizza instead.


I was making a slow-cook casserole and after putting it in the oven for a few hours, I moved on to loading the dishwasher. It wasn’t until my whole family was seated around the dinner table and I was serving that I discovered I’d left a fork at the bottom of the dish – it ‘cooked’ in the oven for three hours. What a classic!


I came across a great apple pie recipe and wanted to surprise my new husband with a home-made bake, soon after our wedding. I made it without a hitch, but when he bit into it, he looked puzzled. He still polished it off in no time, but commented that it was ‘slippery’ and he struggled to keep it on the fork. After taking a bite I discovered, to my horror, that instead of adding vegetable oil, lard, or butter I added all three. I still get teased about the ‘slippery’ pie…


I made a wonderful Chinese dinner using my new wok one night, and, after setting the table, called everyone to the dining room. When I switched on the light above the table the bulb blew. Thinking nothing of it I quickly grabbed a new light bulb and stood on a chair to replace it. The old bulb slipped out of my hand and shattered on the edge of one of the serving dishes and splintered all over the food. My family came into the dining room while I was tearfully throwing away the still-steaming supper. Sadly, we ended up eating sandwiches that night.

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